Conplex Problems...Simple Solutions

I've got the hump. At the young and tender age of 20 Ive had enough of this country. Those of you who are aged 35+ will be thinking what is this child going on about? But wait. The simple fact is this: when your long gone and extinct, I will still be paying tax through my arse to try and pay off a debt i really did not create. You will be happy to know, I have a solution.

Make me Prime Minister. No seriously I would have the mess sorted in a month. I would start by firing anyone with any connection to Parliament. No excuses, clean slate. Next to go would be the city of Slough. I would completely flatten it. I simply don't see the point of this concrete jungle. Situated in the Royal County of Berkshire, Slough is one of those places where everyone seems to be related to each other. There is a word for that condition isn't there? Ahh yes...inbred. In 2006 CPRE named Slough the least tranquil area in the WHOLE of England. Seriously when the Russian KGB made a map of the urban areas of the UK, they didn't bother with Slough. I am confident that WHEN i flatten it, no one will even notice. So what would I put in its place? A really big prison.

Seriously, I can solve crime in an instant. I would make it law that anyone found breaking the law will receive a minimum of 32 years in prison. Think about it. We have a serious problem with gun and knife crime at the moment. If the penalty for carrying such a weapon was 57 years in a prison in slough, I'm confident we would no longer have a problem. Its much the same story when it comes to road issues. A simple way to combat speeding and stupid accidents, is a huge metal spike. Seriously, tell me, if your car had a sharp metal spike pointing out of the steering wheel, resting on your adams apple , would you crash? I thought so. The key point here is you people have minor scraps and crashes every day. They are time consuming, and help to give the insurance companies an excuse to ask you to kindly bend over when you renewal is due. There is always some one at fault (usually its that bloke in the Rover), but if my plan was implemented I guarantee you we would have 3 crashes a decade. No need for speed camera's, traffic police or speed limits. Simple you see.

What about taxes? Seriously I would simply stop taxing everyone. How would we live you ask? Borrow money from Cuba. They have got tons of cocaine money kicking around, I'm sure they could spare a few billion. When the bailiffs come knocking at number 10 to make good the 655588 billion pounds owed... We will hide in the bunker with the lights off hoping they haven't seen us. Or we could all play bankers and simply refuse to pay them back. What can they do? Board up our windows?

I wont reveal all my plans, because the Liberal Democrats will probably steal all my ideas and then i wont get voted in. But if you care about this country and if you want to live in a country run by sheer arrogance. Vote for me. I promise it will be great... For about 6 days... Then we're screwed.